Friday, August 1, 2008

I am outside
And I've been waiting for the sun
And with my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this

Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me
Yeah

Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And oh the promise we adored
Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole

Lock the doors
Cause I'd like to capture this voice
That came to me tonight
So everyone will have a choice
And under red lights
I'll show myself it wasn't forged
We're at war
We live like this

Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me

Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And oh the promise we adored
Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole

Tower over me
Tower over me

And I'll take the truth at any cost

Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And oh the promise we adored
Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole

======================================================================

hellllllllo babes,
i was listening to this rock band, paramore's album and came across this song called "We are Broken" and gosh the song totally swept me away.

It hit me cuz of the lyrics that applies to most of us i suppose. Sometimes when I do things I have no slight intention in doing but just end up doing due to my circumstances (like studying in NUS) I find myself in many situations where I just stop myself and ask,

"What am I doing?"

And I get stumped. What the hell am I doing, doing my readings diligently, even slogging my guts out, and getting into the dean's list twice. And yes anyway, I got into the dean's list again this semester, much to the joy of my parents. Didnt feel much though, I turned down the dean's list prize presentation ceremony (my mom FLIPPED upon knowing i turned down the invitation), and I can't exactly remember where the first dean's list certificate is. Of course I certainly pride my PGA certificate over this dean's list thing.

Humans have insatiable needs/wants, this gaping hole NEVER gets filled up through the course of life. You come into this life with the hole looking for something to fill it up with and the next thing you realise is that you're lying on your death bed thinking about about all that you haven't done.

Its normal I suppose, especially when the most intangible of emotions is getting commercialised, that we are looking to the outside to fill up this hole. But at the end of the day, when we sit alone in the room, and look upon all that we have, which are the ones can we bring along with us when we die? Cds, certs, dresses, photos...?

"What are we doing?"

Non-stop chasing. Whatever we can get our hands on to fill up the emptiness in ourselves. What have I been doing? What has happened to me? We desperately try to fit ourselves into this huge world. We are constantly on the search to find a place in this world to position ourselves in, to find reason, to understand. As this goes on, and on, and on... we forget to look within. how much have we changed?

"How much have we changed to please?"

We've gotta admit it. We might not have noticed this, but we do change (as subtle the changes might be) for those we love the most or hold close to our heart. The changes might be good, but some might just end up making you feeling less whole than before. More broken perhaps?

No one's perfect. As we trudge through this journey, you find people who live their lives like a masquerade. As we pit ourselves against the likes of such people, they take away bits and pieces of ourselves, eating away the corners. We might even lose ourselves in the process.

"Where's the innocence?"

Lost perhaps?

Have we ever sat down to ask ourselves, how broken are we in reality? Tearing away the materialistic facades we shower upon ourselves, tearing away the masks we don on in the world, how much of US is left?

"How much of life have we wasted?"

We can do something to change how we live.

But could we live our lives while keeping the truth of ourselves?

How much of us must we hide?

>> Renny... << posted at 11:34 AM